Weekly Report: Drama, Girly Umbrella, Tofu Meat

Hey Everyone!
This week was freakishly busy with Zone Conferences! I'll explain the drama that went down: The Assistants always do a skit as part of their training in Zone Conference, and this time, me and Elder Sanford basically wrote the script for the skit (cause we're far funnier than Assistants). Anyways, the idea of the skit was that one of them would teach without promising real blessings, and the other would. One investigator wouldn't really progress and the other one would get super golden (I was the golden one, and there were LOTS of high pitched noises. Tons of people told me I should have done drama, and a couple told me they were my fan club). Anyways, then I got the idea to hold a writer's strike, so on Monday, when the Assistants wanted to practice, Elder Sanford pulled out the cardboard signs we'd made and hid behind our desks and held an office writer's strike. Elder Palmer wasn't happy, but we didn't really have any demands, so we quickly got to practicing. Well, turns out they needed directing help too, so I ended up being the director ("No no no, you don't just say, 'it's free.' You have to say free higher. Like, 'it's FREE!'") and then we were up till 12. But the skit went super well the next day and everyone loved it (even the Listons). But... then when we asked President what we could improve on, he thought that saying baptism was just like a spa and a bubble bath was perhaps just a little too sacreligious, so we had to rewrite the baptism section of the skit. So the Southern Zones will never know the apostasy that went down in the North...

Anyways, I guess it's time for the log:
Saturday 5:14pm Me and Elder Sanford's single, "Palmer" hits the radio today. (so here's the story: we wrote this song for Elder Palmer in secret, and when he came upstairs to the apartment that night, we were sitting on his bed with guitar and lyrics ready. Catchy tune)
7:15pm It was all fun and games until Elder Palmer showed up and started throwing 50 pound boxes of Book of Mormons.
Sunday 12:45pm The Sisters wait for us to get into the elevator after lunch at a member's house. "Ok, bye bye!" That Elder Zhuang is a good dude.
6:30 pm Second big meal of the day. New Year's season is back in full force!
7:15pm Dude has a total man crush on Elder Maua'ii from last year. But free food in return for listening to an hour of complaints about how we can't eat as much as said elder was worth it.
8:20pm The Assistants' RC Chen Jun Wei didn't ride his scooter, so we had to walk, and then it was raining when we got out of dinner, and now I'm trying to explain to myself why I'm using Sister Hancock's black and whie flower parasol. I'm a dude.
Monday 5:45pm Writer's strike!
11:41pm Wow, I so cannot pull off psycho crazy this late at night.
Tuesday 10:23 I make a great screaming golden investigator. Brought down the house.
12:30pm "I knew you guys wrote that skit. The Assistants aren't that funny."
5:43 It's not everyday that you write a joke so funny the mission president censors it.
Wednesday 4:30pm Off to Gaoxiong!
6:30 Wow, worst traffic EVER! Curse you, Chinese New Year!
7:30pm in a really crowded rest stop bathroom. Elder Zhuang:"Now we finally have the New Year's feeling!"
10:15pm Sleeping over in SanMin with Elder Olsen and Teddy (who is a short term missionary for the week), two of my favorite people on the island! SWEET!
1am Yeah, we should totally be sleeping right now.
Thursday 6:45am The gas tank ran out halfway through the first shower. Curse you, Elder Olsen, luring me here under false pretenses!
4:15pm And then the Nanny Council adjourned until America.
Friday 12:30pm That pork patty was tofu, not meat!!! Curses! Deceived!
1:00pm "I'd like to know what the Mormon church's position on Zionism is." "...uh... I'll go get Elder Liston." Thank goodness for couple missionaries to take care of the white people.

Yeah, it was a busy week. A really fun one though. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to work in the office and particpate in all these random things that we get to do all the time. I hope you all are enjoying life as well. Love you all. Love,
Elder Siebert